Lucian Zestington (1908–1966)
Went out swinging, missed.
wandered off to "check on something" decades ago and technically never returned
Prudence Fenwickle (1962–1996)
They said they were "fine."
died of embarrassment after a reply-all incident
Gwendolyn Muddlecombe (1921–2009)
They said they were "fine."
wandered into a Terms & Conditions and did not return
Bartholomew Fenwickle (1945–2040)
The snooze button finally won.
perished attempting to return a shopping cart to the corral
Prudence Muddlecombe (1933–1981)
Finally got the last word.
fell into a plot hole while rewatching a beloved sitcom
Cornelius Snodgrass (1903–1970)
Left the oven on, and this world.
lost a staring contest with a Roomba, then their soul
Alistair Ottersnout (1970–2033)
Left the oven on, and this world.
drowned in a pool of their own unfinished to-do lists
Beatrix Higglethorpe (1957–1981)
Never did return that library book.
choked on the last word of a crossword puzzle
Ignatius Higglethorpe (1921–2001)
Their browser had 4,000 open tabs. Now it has none.
drowned in a pool of their own unfinished to-do lists
Ignatius Wrinklefield (1926–1980)
Left the oven on, and this world.
wandered into a Terms & Conditions and did not return