Edwina Rumpelforth
They finally got some peace and quiet.
| Born | a sweltering day in 1925, probably |
|---|---|
| Died | 1955, rather abruptly |
| Cause | fell into a sinkhole shaped suspiciously like regret |
| Survived by | An unfinished jigsaw puzzle of the Eiffel Tower |
With their browser tabs still open and unresolved, we announce the passing of Edwina Rumpelforth, aged 30. They were the last person anyone expected to win at anything, and somehow occasionally did. They are survived by a lawn ornament collection of debatable taste.