Osbert Wobblesnitch
Their houseplants outlived their warranty.
| Born | a crisp day in 1973, probably |
|---|---|
| Died | 2016, rather abruptly |
| Cause | was ambushed by a well-timed plot twist in their own life |
| Survived by | A stack of self-help books, all unread past chapter two |
With one last unreturned voicemail hanging in the air, Osbert Wobblesnitch, aged 43. They were known to argue with weather forecasts personally. They are survived by a lifetime's worth of unsent birthday cards.