Xavier Knucklebeck
The Wi-Fi password dies with them.
| Born | a blustery day in 1913, probably |
|---|---|
| Died | 1976, rather abruptly |
| Cause | was struck by a falling houseplant, which felt personally targeted |
| Survived by | An ongoing dispute with a rival trivia team |
It is with equal parts sorrow and mild scheduling inconvenience that we announce Xavier Knucklebeck, aged 63. Their favorite hobby was correcting people who hadn't asked. They are survived by a rescued turtle with an uncertain lifespan of its own.