Dagwood Fenwickle
Officially out of chances.
| Born | a frosty day in 1965, probably |
|---|---|
| Died | 2058, rather abruptly |
| Cause | tripped over a garden gnome with questionable intentions |
| Survived by | A treasured collection of hotel shampoo bottles |
Gathered around an increasingly cold casserole, the family confirms the passing of Dagwood Fenwickle, aged 93. Their nickname was earned in a way nobody could quite explain. They are survived by an unreasonably large jar of pennies.