Euphemia Tattlesworth
The remote is still lost. So are they.
| Born | a oddly still day in 1954, probably |
|---|---|
| Died | 1984, rather abruptly |
| Cause | perished attempting to parallel park on the first try |
| Survived by | A very committed book club that never once finished a book |
It is with a raised eyebrow and a heavy heart that we share news of Euphemia Tattlesworth, aged 30. Their bucket list had one item on it, permanently. They are survived by a rivalry with a vending machine, now permanently unresolved.