The Goodbye World Gazette

Ignatius Higglethorpe

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Born	a unremarkable day in 1921, probably
Died	2001, rather abruptly
Cause	drowned in a pool of their own unfinished to-do lists
Survived by	Several strongly worded group chats

In a turn of events nobody saw coming, least of all them, Ignatius Higglethorpe, aged 80. They once argued with a vending machine for twenty minutes and lost. They are survived by several strongly worded group chats.

Guestbook — Letters to the Departed

1. Kevin F. writes:

“Thoughts and prayers, and also please return my lawnmower.”
2. Dale R. writes:

“Thoughts and prayers, and also please return my lawnmower.”
3. Linda F. writes:

“Flying in from out of state just for the buffet. RIP.”
4. Carol F. writes:

“They owed me twenty bucks. I guess we're even now.”
5. Chad S. writes:

“Signing the guestbook because the group chat asked me to.”
6. Trevor B. writes:

“A legend. A menace. Occasionally both at once.”
7. Nelda O. writes:

“I'll never forget them arguing with a self-checkout machine for ten minutes.”
8. Stanley P. writes:

“They ruined every white elephant party and I respected that.”
9. Eugene D. writes:

“They were banned from three different bowling alleys, and I never asked why.”

Sign the Guestbook