In Memoriam

Beatrix Higglethorpe

Never did return that library book.

Born	a suspicious day in 1957, probably
Died	1981, rather abruptly
Cause	choked on the last word of a crossword puzzle
Survived by	A mountain of unread paperback novels

Following a brief but dramatic altercation with fate, Beatrix Higglethorpe, aged 24. They will be remembered for their unshakable confidence in bad decisions. They are survived by three ex-roommates who are, frankly, relieved.

Guestbook — Letters to the Departed

1. Trevor T. writes:

“Gone but never fully explained.”
2. Gary W. writes:

“They would have wanted us to argue about the will. So. Here we are.”
3. Doreen F. writes:

“A legend. A menace. Occasionally both at once.”
4. Wayne M. writes:

“Thoughts and prayers, and also please return my lawnmower.”
5. Sharon S. writes:

“Gone but never fully explained.”
6. Norris T. writes:

“They promised the group chat a reunion. Guess we're having one now.”
7. Nadia A. writes:

“They'd want us to argue about this at the reception. Say less.”
8. Dot R. writes:

“They were "reply guy" energy incarnate. Miss that.”
9. Gilbert G. writes:

“RIP to the one who always brought the good snacks.”
10. Tony K. writes:

“They still owe me a favor. Filing this as unresolved business.”
11. Perry L. writes:

“They still have my charger. I want it back.”
12. Chip P. writes:

“They said "trust me" one too many times, and yet, here we are.”
13. Keith W. writes:

“This feels sudden, but honestly they warned us for years.”
14. Gary B. writes:

“Condolences, truly, but also does anyone know the Wi-Fi password now?”
15. Darlene Q. writes:

“Never once saw them lose an argument, mostly because they never stopped talking.”
16. Grant O. writes:

“They were the reason our group chat had a "no politics" rule.”
17. Cheryl H. writes:

“Their karaoke rendition lives on in several restraining orders. RIP.”
18. Toby O. writes:

“Still waiting on the money they "definitely" Venmo'd me.”
19. Mick N. writes:

“Every group chat needs a chaos gremlin. We just lost ours.”
20. Rex Z. writes:

“Never forget the great Thanksgiving gravy dispute. They started it.”
21. Nadia Q. writes:

“They promised to teach me their secret recipe. Guess it's secret forever.”
22. Zelda H. writes:

“They owed the whole group chat an apology. Guess we're square.”
23. Ursula J. writes:

“They never once admitted defeat, and I respect the commitment.”
24. Elton W. writes:

“Never met anyone who committed to a bit quite like they did.”
25. Nancy O. writes:

“They said they'd never sell the boat. The boat remains unsold, at least.”
26. Vinnie L. writes:

“Their karaoke rendition lives on in several restraining orders. RIP.”
27. Wayne J. writes:

“Still can't believe they left mid-argument. Classic.”
28. Mabel N. writes:

“Flying in from out of state just for the buffet. RIP.”
29. Lois P. writes:

“RIP to the one person who could parallel park on the first try.”
30. Nigel A. writes:

“This explains the very strange voicemail they left me last week.”
31. Tony H. writes:

“They said they'd call me back. Bold claim in retrospect.”
32. Elaine J. writes:

“They'd want us all to overreact slightly. So we are.”
33. Hilda E. writes:

“They were the reason our group chat had a "no politics" rule.”

Beatrix Higglethorpe

Guestbook — Letters to the Departed

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