The Goodbye World Gazette

Alistair Ottersnout

Left the oven on, and this world.

Born	a muggy day in 1970, probably
Died	2033, rather abruptly
Cause	drowned in a pool of their own unfinished to-do lists
Survived by	A garden gnome collection of unclear provenance

Following a brief but dramatic altercation with fate, Alistair Ottersnout, aged 63. Their proudest achievement was a personal record of 14 unread emails, which stood for a decade. They are survived by a houseplant named after a minor deity.

Guestbook — Letters to the Departed

1. Nigel B. writes:

“A legend. A menace. Occasionally both at once.”
2. Wayne T. writes:

“We didn't always get along but wow, this escalated.”
3. Diane F. writes:

“Signing the guestbook because the group chat asked me to.”
4. Kevin W. writes:

“Flying in from out of state just for the buffet. RIP.”
5. Chad F. writes:

“RIP to a real one. Or at least a memorable one.”
6. Iris C. writes:

“They said they'd never retire. Well.”
7. Deb J. writes:

“This is why you always double check the group chat before making plans.”
8. Lonnie W. writes:

“Rest in peace to the last person who understood my jokes.”

Sign the Guestbook