Montgomery Quaverstone
This was not part of the five-year plan.
| Born | a humid day in 1962, probably |
|---|---|
| Died | 2043, rather abruptly |
| Cause | was politely disqualified from life for excessive stubbornness |
| Survived by | A very old car that, against all odds, still starts |
After a spirited, ultimately unsuccessful negotiation with mortality, Montgomery Quaverstone, aged 81. Their crowning achievement was a fantasy league title nobody else took seriously. They are survived by a very judgmental parrot.