The Goodbye World Gazette

Cornelius Snodgrass

Left the oven on, and this world.

Born	a muggy day in 1903, probably
Died	1970, rather abruptly
Cause	lost a staring contest with a Roomba, then their soul
Survived by	A houseplant named after a minor deity

In a turn of events nobody saw coming, least of all them, Cornelius Snodgrass, aged 67. They never once admitted to being wrong, and went out exactly the same way. They are survived by a houseplant named after a minor deity.

Guestbook — Letters to the Departed

1. Kevin K. writes:

“A legend. A menace. Occasionally both at once.”
2. Gary K. writes:

“I'll never forget the time they microwaved fish at the office. Never.”
3. Nigel S. writes:

“We didn't always get along but wow, this escalated.”
4. Wendy N. writes:

“They promised to pay me back "next payday" for over a decade.”
5. Walt P. writes:

“They promised to fix my sink "next weekend" for three years running.”
6. Ned I. writes:

“They said they'd slow down eventually. Bold of them to lie like that.”
7. Quinton O. writes:

“Signing this guestbook under protest, they still owe me fifty bucks.”
8. Janice S. writes:

“Never forget them heckling the ref at every single game.”

Sign the Guestbook