Quintessa Zipperbeck
Told you they weren't feeling well.
| Born | a drizzly day in 1943, probably |
|---|---|
| Died | 2004, rather abruptly |
| Cause | tripped over their own legend |
| Survived by | A garden that will, without them, become a jungle |
It is with a bewildering mix of sorrow and mild confusion that we announce the passing of Quintessa Zipperbeck, aged 61. Their favorite hobby was correcting people who hadn't asked. They are survived by a stack of birthday cards meant to be sent.