The Goodbye World Gazette

Serving the Departed Since Whenever · « De Mortuis Nil Nisi Absurdum »

Vol. I · No. 61 Late Edition Sunday, October 4, 2026 Circulation: 67 Departed · 716 Condolences

In Memoriam

← All Departures

Zebulon Jangleworth

No notes.

Borna mild day in 1944, probably
Died2039, rather abruptly
Causewas outsmarted by a "Are you still watching?" prompt
Survived byA very passive-aggressive note taped to a fridge

After finally, finally admitting they might have been wrong about one thing, Zebulon Jangleworth, aged 95. Their idea of a balanced diet was one snack in each hand. They are survived by a decades-long feud with a crossword puzzle publisher.

Guestbook — Letters to the Departed

  1. 1. Trudy B. writes:

    “Condolences to all, especially whoever inherits their spreadsheet.”

  2. 2. Tex J. writes:

    “They never once let me win at cards, and I respected the ruthlessness.”

  3. 3. Brenda X. writes:

    “RIP to a real one. Or at least a memorable one.”

  4. 4. Myrna D. writes:

    “They said they'd call me back. Bold claim in retrospect.”

  5. 5. Stanley V. writes:

    “RIP to the one person who actually read the terms and conditions.”

  6. 6. Peggy U. writes:

    “A legend. A menace. Occasionally both at once.”

  7. 7. Opal O. writes:

    “They said they'd never sell the boat. The boat remains unsold, at least.”

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