In Memoriam

Prudence Muddlecombe

Finally got the last word.

Born	a unremarkable day in 1933, probably
Died	1981, rather abruptly
Cause	fell into a plot hole while rewatching a beloved sitcom
Survived by	A houseplant named after a minor deity

In a turn of events nobody saw coming, least of all them, Prudence Muddlecombe, aged 48. Their proudest achievement was a personal record of 14 unread emails, which stood for a decade. They are survived by a loyal cat who never once respected them.

Guestbook — Letters to the Departed

1. Sharon M. writes:

“I'll never forget the time they microwaved fish at the office. Never.”
2. Doreen W. writes:

“Thoughts and prayers, and also please return my lawnmower.”
3. Carol K. writes:

“They owed me twenty bucks. I guess we're even now.”
4. Carol R. writes:

“Thoughts and prayers, and also please return my lawnmower.”
5. Trevor B. writes:

“Flying in from out of state just for the buffet. RIP.”
6. Rusty Z. writes:

“Still can't believe they left before finishing the story. Typical.”
7. Kathy T. writes:

“They said they'd never leave the group chat. Well, technically, they didn't.”
8. Helen D. writes:

“I still owe them for that bet. Consider it a wash.”
9. Phyllis W. writes:

“Never once returned a borrowed tool, and somehow that's endearing now.”
10. Verna K. writes:

“They promised the group chat a reunion. Guess we're having one now.”
11. Pam D. writes:

“This explains why they didn't show up to book club.”
12. Ursula R. writes:

“A legend. A menace. Occasionally both at once.”
13. Grady O. writes:

“They were the only one who laughed at my terrible puns. RIP to that.”
14. Vern I. writes:

“They promised the group chat a reunion. Guess we're having one now.”
15. Jerry W. writes:

“They promised to fix my sink "next weekend" for three years running.”
16. Diane K. writes:

“Still can't believe they left before finishing the story. Typical.”
17. Carol G. writes:

“They told the same three stories at every party. Miss those stories.”
18. Ike H. writes:

“Their karaoke rendition lives on in several restraining orders. RIP.”
19. Wendy T. writes:

“They said they had "a guy" for everything. RIP to the guy's biggest client.”
20. Bonnie U. writes:

“They said retirement was "for quitters." Look at them now.”
21. Helga F. writes:

“They owed the whole group chat an apology. Guess we're square.”
22. Terry P. writes:

“They'd want us all to overreact slightly. So we are.”
23. Bev R. writes:

“This is why you always double check the group chat before making plans.”
24. Chip T. writes:

“They never once admitted defeat, and I respect the commitment.”
25. Hilda B. writes:

“Still can't believe they never returned my drill.”
26. Keith E. writes:

“They said this town wasn't big enough for both of us. Guess they won.”
27. Gerald Y. writes:

“Never forget the great Thanksgiving gravy dispute. They started it.”
28. Jerry R. writes:

“They'd want us all to overreact slightly. So we are.”
29. Sheila I. writes:

“Condolences aside, does anyone know what happens to their fantasy team now?”
30. Eugene S. writes:

“They were the reason our fantasy league had rules in the first place.”
31. Nadia L. writes:

“They said retirement was "for quitters." Look at them now.”
32. Bea L. writes:

“Rest easy. Or don't. Not my problem anymore.”
33. Ned X. writes:

“Their karaoke rendition lives on in several restraining orders. RIP.”
34. Frank R. writes:

“They promised to fix my sink "next weekend" for three years running.”
35. Iris N. writes:

“They told the same three stories at every party. Miss those stories.”
36. Blanche D. writes:

“Miss them dearly, still confused about what they did for a living.”
37. Ora K. writes:

“Miss them dearly, still confused about what they did for a living.”
38. Flo W. writes:

“I'll never forget the time they microwaved fish at the office. Never.”
39. Brenda Z. writes:

“They said this town wasn't big enough for both of us. Guess they won.”
40. Tammy M. writes:

“RIP to the last one who could make the whole room laugh on command.”
41. Iris K. writes:

“Condolences, truly, but also does anyone know the Wi-Fi password now?”
42. Eugene P. writes:

“Still can't believe they left mid-argument. Classic.”
43. Walt Q. writes:

“They were the only one who laughed at my terrible puns. RIP to that.”

Prudence Muddlecombe

Guestbook — Letters to the Departed

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