In Memoriam

Xiomara Hootenanny

Retired undefeated, mostly by default.

Born	a overcast day in 1955, probably
Died	2012, rather abruptly
Cause	was outlived by their houseplants, out of spite
Survived by	A family recipe nobody wrote down in time

After a long and largely undocumented life, Xiomara Hootenanny, aged 57. Their proudest possession was a mug that said "World's Okayest" something. They are survived by a very passive-aggressive note taped to a fridge.

Guestbook — Letters to the Departed

1. Vic H. writes:

“I'll never forget them arguing with a self-checkout machine for ten minutes.”
2. Dennis E. writes:

“They never once let me win at cards, and I respected the ruthlessness.”
3. Clyde V. writes:

“Honestly did not see this coming, and I say that as someone who saw everything coming.”
4. Verna O. writes:

“Never forget them heckling the ref at every single game.”
5. Gus J. writes:

“Honestly this tracks. They lived like there was no tomorrow, and, well.”
6. Gus T. writes:

“They promised to pay me back "next payday" for over a decade.”
7. Harold G. writes:

“They were the reason our group chat had a "no politics" rule.”
8. Trudy O. writes:

“They said they'd slow down eventually. Bold of them to lie like that.”
9. Larry J. writes:

“A legend. A menace. Occasionally both at once.”
10. Hilda J. writes:

“They never once let me win at cards, and I respected the ruthlessness.”

Xiomara Hootenanny

Guestbook — Letters to the Departed

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