In Memoriam

Sherwood Lumpington

Still five minutes late to this.

Born	a sweltering day in 1935, probably
Died	1959, rather abruptly
Cause	perished mid-nap, mid-argument, and mid-sentence, in that order
Survived by	A lifetime's worth of "I'll fix it later" projects

It is with great reluctance and a mild sense of déjà vu that we announce Sherwood Lumpington, aged 24. They kept a spreadsheet for something nobody understood the purpose of. They are survived by a group chat that refuses to be renamed in their memory.

Guestbook — Letters to the Departed

1. Paula Y. writes:

“Thoughts and prayers, and also please return my lawnmower.”
2. Wayne W. writes:

“They said this town wasn't big enough for both of us. Guess they won.”
3. Gerald A. writes:

“They said "famous last words" right before saying famous last words.”
4. Trevor J. writes:

“Their last words to me were "hold my drink." I'm still holding it.”
5. Al H. writes:

“RIP to the only person who understood the office printer.”
6. Deb L. writes:

“Bold strategy, leaving before the group vacation.”
7. Rex B. writes:

“They said they'd never leave the group chat. Well, technically, they didn't.”

Sherwood Lumpington

Guestbook — Letters to the Departed

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