In Memoriam

Increase Wanglesworth

The last word, as promised, was theirs.

Born	a hazy day in 1922, probably
Died	1960, rather abruptly
Cause	fell victim to an unusually judgmental horoscope
Survived by	Three ex-roommates who are, frankly, relieved

In a turn of events nobody saw coming, least of all them, Increase Wanglesworth, aged 38. They once out-negotiated a used car salesman and never let anyone forget it. They are survived by several strongly held opinions on sandwich construction.

Guestbook — Letters to the Departed

1. Rusty A. writes:

“The office will never recover from losing its best conspiracy theorist.”
2. Hazel A. writes:

“Never met someone so committed to being wrong loudly.”
3. Phyllis U. writes:

“They said "trust me" one too many times, and yet, here we are.”
4. Curtis Z. writes:

“Every group chat needs a chaos gremlin. We just lost ours.”
5. Rusty P. writes:

“They were undefeated at Scrabble and made sure everyone knew it.”
6. Kirk C. writes:

“I'll never forget them arguing with a self-checkout machine for ten minutes.”
7. Al J. writes:

“They owed me twenty bucks. I guess we're even now.”
8. Jolene D. writes:

“They ruined every white elephant party and I respected that.”
9. Larry D. writes:

“A legend. A menace. Occasionally both at once.”
10. Al P. writes:

“Condolences aside, does anyone know what happens to their fantasy team now?”
11. Darlene V. writes:

“They promised to teach me their secret recipe. Guess it's secret forever.”
12. Kyle J. writes:

“RIP to the last person who remembered my birthday without a reminder.”
13. Mick U. writes:

“They were the only one who laughed harder at their jokes than we did.”

Increase Wanglesworth

Guestbook — Letters to the Departed

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