In Memoriam

Loretta Underpants

Achieved inbox zero. At what cost.

Born	a unremarkable day in 1908, probably
Died	1950, rather abruptly
Cause	was crushed under the weight of their own unfinished memoir
Survived by	A coupon collection spanning several decades

Surrounded by loved ones, several houseplants, and a suspicious amount of expired coupons, Loretta Underpants, aged 42. Their idea of a balanced diet was one snack in each hand. They are survived by an unresolved feud with a rival bowling team.

Guestbook — Letters to the Departed

1. Neil P. writes:

“They owed me twenty bucks. I guess we're even now.”
2. Alan K. writes:

“Never met someone so committed to being wrong loudly.”
3. Eugene E. writes:

“They said they had "a guy" for everything. RIP to the guy's biggest client.”
4. Nadia N. writes:

“Never forget them insisting the map app was wrong, every single time.”
5. Alvin W. writes:

“Never once saw them lose an argument, mostly because they never stopped talking.”
6. Toby C. writes:

“Gone but never fully explained.”
7. Skip M. writes:

“RIP to the last person who remembered my birthday without a reminder.”
8. Fern I. writes:

“Bold strategy, leaving before the group vacation.”
9. Myrna Z. writes:

“They promised to teach me their secret recipe. Guess it's secret forever.”
10. Norris L. writes:

“Still waiting on that group photo they promised to send.”
11. Vern L. writes:

“They promised to fix my sink "next weekend" for three years running.”
12. Rusty N. writes:

“They promised the group chat a reunion. Guess we're having one now.”
13. Leon H. writes:

“They told the best worst jokes. This one's on them.”
14. Flo A. writes:

“Condolences, but seriously, who's captaining the trivia team now?”

Loretta Underpants

Guestbook — Letters to the Departed

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