The Goodbye World Gazette

Bartholomew Fenwickle

The snooze button finally won.

Born	a suspicious day in 1945, probably
Died	2040, rather abruptly
Cause	perished attempting to return a shopping cart to the corral
Survived by	Three ex-roommates who are, frankly, relieved

After a long and largely undocumented life, Bartholomew Fenwickle, aged 95. Friends describe them as "loud," "unforgettable," and "always five minutes late". They are survived by a garden gnome collection of unclear provenance.

Guestbook — Letters to the Departed

1. Brenda T. writes:

“They owed me twenty bucks. I guess we're even now.”
2. Nigel S. writes:

“A legend. A menace. Occasionally both at once.”
3. Brenda W. writes:

“RIP to a real one. Or at least a memorable one.”
4. Sharon T. writes:

“RIP to a real one. Or at least a memorable one.”
5. Kevin T. writes:

“Gone but never fully explained.”
6. Pam K. writes:

“We didn't always get along but wow, this escalated.”
7. Me writes:

“Fuck 'em”
8. Bev O. writes:

“Never met anyone who committed to a bit quite like they did.”
9. Nigel V. writes:

“This is why you always double check the group chat before making plans.”

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