In Memoriam

Fortunatus Gogglesnort

They saw it coming and shrugged.

Born	a crisp day in 1972, probably
Died	2023, rather abruptly
Cause	perished while insisting the map was wrong, not them
Survived by	A collection of ceramic frogs nobody asked for

With the porch light still on and the door unlocked, as always, Fortunatus Gogglesnort, aged 51. Their last home improvement project remains, to this day, half finished. They are survived by an unfinished jigsaw puzzle of the Eiffel Tower.

Guestbook — Letters to the Departed

1. Della H. writes:

“Gone but never fully explained.”
2. Mick X. writes:

“Never met anyone so proud of a personal best they set alone.”
3. Norris P. writes:

“Condolences, but also, does anyone know their Netflix password?”
4. Nelda L. writes:

“They promised the group chat a reunion. Guess we're having one now.”
5. Trudy Y. writes:

“They told the same three stories at every party. Miss those stories.”
6. Nigel K. writes:

“They said retirement was "for quitters." Look at them now.”
7. Frank W. writes:

“I'll miss our weekly arguments about absolutely nothing.”
8. Janice T. writes:

“They promised me their record collection. Following up on that.”
9. Trudy B. writes:

“Condolences, and also, someone needs to cancel their gym membership.”
10. Hilda E. writes:

“They said "see you at the next one." We're holding out hope they're right.”
11. Vito P. writes:

“Miss them most during the annual argument about the thermostat.”
12. Mabel G. writes:

“Never forget them heckling the ref at every single game.”
13. Rusty P. writes:

“They would have wanted us to argue about the will. So. Here we are.”
14. Faye U. writes:

“I inherited their houseplants. This feels like a punishment.”
15. Sandy P. writes:

“They promised to pay me back "next payday" for over a decade.”
16. Skip T. writes:

“They promised to pay me back "next payday" for over a decade.”
17. Sherry L. writes:

“Rest easy. Or don't. Not my problem anymore.”

Fortunatus Gogglesnort

Guestbook — Letters to the Departed

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