In Memoriam

Jemima Doodlebug

Gone before the encore.

Born	a blinding day in 1905, probably
Died	1980, rather abruptly
Cause	perished attempting a TikTok dance well past their prime
Survived by	A collection of participation ribbons from a 5K they didn't finish

With the group chat already arguing about the funeral playlist, Jemima Doodlebug, aged 75. They once got into a genuine dispute with an automated customer service line and lost. They are survived by an argument with a smart speaker, ongoing.

Guestbook — Letters to the Departed

1. Andy X. writes:

“Still owe them an apology. Guess that ship has sailed.”
2. Vern E. writes:

“The last text they sent me was just three exclamation points. Iconic to the end.”
3. Gary L. writes:

“Still can't believe they missed their own retirement party for this.”
4. Jean I. writes:

“I'll always remember the parking lot incident. They know which one.”
5. Carol L. writes:

“RIP to a real one. Or at least a memorable one.”
6. Kevin A. writes:

“They said retirement was "for quitters." Look at them now.”
7. Ira H. writes:

“A legend. A menace. Occasionally both at once.”
8. Bea R. writes:

“They were banned from karaoke night and never once apologized.”
9. Randy T. writes:

“They'd want us all to overreact slightly. So we are.”
10. Harold F. writes:

“Condolences to the family, and also to their unfinished fantasy draft.”
11. Kathy S. writes:

“They were "reply guy" energy incarnate. Miss that.”
12. Flo K. writes:

“The office will never recover from losing its best conspiracy theorist.”
13. Donna U. writes:

“They said they'd slow down eventually. Bold of them to lie like that.”
14. Sherry H. writes:

“RIP to the one who always finished the office snacks first.”
15. Fern W. writes:

“This is why you always double check the group chat before making plans.”
16. Tex O. writes:

“They promised to pay me back "next payday" for over a decade.”
17. Larry J. writes:

“Still owe them an apology. Guess that ship has sailed.”
18. Jolene R. writes:

“Never met someone so committed to being wrong loudly.”
19. Woody X. writes:

“RIP to the last person who could beat me at darts.”
20. Irene F. writes:

“Miss them most during the annual argument about the thermostat.”
21. Jack H. writes:

“RIP to the last one who could make the whole room laugh on command.”

Jemima Doodlebug

Guestbook — Letters to the Departed

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