In Memoriam

Agatha Fluttersby

Gone before the encore.

Born	a tepid day in 1960, probably
Died	2025, rather abruptly
Cause	was undone by a "final answer" that was, emphatically, not final
Survived by	A very territorial backyard squirrel

With their browser tabs still open and unresolved, we announce the passing of Agatha Fluttersby, aged 65. Friends describe them as "loud," "unforgettable," and "always five minutes late". They are survived by a car that never quite passed inspection.

Guestbook — Letters to the Departed

1. Yolanda C. writes:

“They said retirement was "for quitters." Look at them now.”
2. Andy Y. writes:

“Never forget them heckling the ref at every single game.”
3. Yvonne Y. writes:

“Their karaoke rendition lives on in several restraining orders. RIP.”
4. Israel L. writes:

“Honestly did not see this coming, and I say that as someone who saw everything coming.”
5. Ollie T. writes:

“This is why you always double check the group chat before making plans.”
6. Doreen X. writes:

“Condolences, but seriously, who's captaining the trivia team now?”
7. Grant K. writes:

“Never met anyone who could argue with a GPS quite like them.”
8. Clyde O. writes:

“They said retirement was "for quitters." Look at them now.”
9. Ollie H. writes:

“They promised to fix my sink "next weekend" for three years running.”
10. Ursula B. writes:

“I inherited their houseplants. This feels like a punishment.”
11. Toby A. writes:

“They were banned from two Thanksgivings and wore it proudly.”
12. Eugene T. writes:

“I inherited their houseplants. This feels like a punishment.”
13. Verna K. writes:

“Loved them dearly, still want my ladder back.”
14. Vince C. writes:

“They were the only one who laughed harder at their jokes than we did.”
15. Warren O. writes:

“Loved them dearly, still want my ladder back.”
16. Alan Y. writes:

“Still waiting on the money they "definitely" Venmo'd me.”
17. Dennis P. writes:

“They were the reason our group chat had a "no politics" rule.”
18. Carol M. writes:

“They said "trust me" one too many times, and yet, here we are.”
19. Israel F. writes:

“This explains why they didn't show up to book club.”
20. Trevor T. writes:

“Condolences, truly, but also does anyone know the Wi-Fi password now?”
21. Al V. writes:

“This is why you always double check the group chat before making plans.”

Agatha Fluttersby

Guestbook — Letters to the Departed

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