In Memoriam

Persimmon Quibblesnort

They finally got some peace and quiet.

Born	a unseasonably warm day in 1930, probably
Died	1958, rather abruptly
Cause	was politely dethroned by a smarter thermostat
Survived by	A stack of unopened mail, mostly catalogs

After narrowly surviving several previous close calls, fate finally caught up with Persimmon Quibblesnort, aged 28. Their signature move was leaving right before the check arrived. They are survived by a wall calendar still open to the wrong month.

Guestbook — Letters to the Departed

1. Earl X. writes:

“They promised to pay me back "next payday" for over a decade.”
2. Woody P. writes:

“They were undefeated at Scrabble and made sure everyone knew it.”
3. Woody T. writes:

“Condolences aside, does anyone know what happens to their fantasy team now?”
4. Kyle W. writes:

“This explains the very strange voicemail they left me last week.”
5. Kirk Q. writes:

“Never met anyone who committed to a bit quite like they did.”
6. Alan C. writes:

“They said "I've got this" right before every disaster. Miss that energy.”
7. Perry A. writes:

“RIP to the one who always brought the good snacks.”
8. Wilma F. writes:

“RIP to the one person who actually read the terms and conditions.”
9. Curtis A. writes:

“Condolences to all, especially whoever inherits their spreadsheet.”
10. Sandy P. writes:

“RIP to the one who always finished the office snacks first.”
11. Jack N. writes:

“This feels sudden, but honestly they warned us for years.”
12. Cliff K. writes:

“Condolences aside, does anyone know what happens to their fantasy team now?”
13. Warren P. writes:

“Never met anyone who committed to a bit quite like they did.”
14. Jerry R. writes:

“Still can't believe they missed their own retirement party for this.”
15. Trudy H. writes:

“They said "famous last words" right before saying famous last words.”
16. Yvonne Z. writes:

“They were one of one. Thank god, honestly.”
17. Frieda U. writes:

“The office will never recover from losing its best conspiracy theorist.”
18. Pam U. writes:

“They were the reason our group chat had a "no politics" rule.”
19. Sheila R. writes:

“Signing the guestbook because the group chat asked me to.”
20. Sheila X. writes:

“Bold strategy, leaving before the group vacation.”
21. Merle A. writes:

“I'll never forget them arguing with a self-checkout machine for ten minutes.”
22. Randy O. writes:

“They said they'd never sell the boat. The boat remains unsold, at least.”
23. Kirk T. writes:

“They'd want us to argue about this at the reception. Say less.”
24. Andy N. writes:

“RIP to the last one who could make the whole room laugh on command.”
25. Eugene S. writes:

“Their group chat presence cannot be replaced. Please do not try.”
26. Clyde P. writes:

“Never a dull moment. Except now, apparently.”

Persimmon Quibblesnort

Guestbook — Letters to the Departed

Sign the Guestbook