In Memoriam

Gwendolyn Muddlecombe

They said they were "fine."

Born	a muggy day in 1921, probably
Died	2009, rather abruptly
Cause	wandered into a Terms & Conditions and did not return
Survived by	Several strongly worded group chats

Following a brief but dramatic altercation with fate, Gwendolyn Muddlecombe, aged 88. They will be remembered for their unshakable confidence in bad decisions. They are survived by a houseplant named after a minor deity.

Guestbook — Letters to the Departed

1. Sharon W. writes:

“RIP to a real one. Or at least a memorable one.”
2. Linda M. writes:

“I'll never forget the time they microwaved fish at the office. Never.”
3. Brenda R. writes:

“Flying in from out of state just for the buffet. RIP.”
4. Dale M. writes:

“We didn't always get along but wow, this escalated.”
5. Real Site Visitor writes:

“This is genuinely unsettling and I love it.”
6. Shirley X. writes:

“They were banned from karaoke night and never once apologized.”
7. Norris J. writes:

“RIP to the last one who could make the whole room laugh on command.”
8. Vito Q. writes:

“They said they'd slow down eventually. Bold of them to lie like that.”
9. Gerald M. writes:

“RIP to the last person who could beat me at darts.”
10. Lyle J. writes:

“They said this town wasn't big enough for both of us. Guess they won.”
11. Otto N. writes:

“They promised to teach me their secret recipe. Guess it's secret forever.”
12. Doreen M. writes:

“RIP to the last one who could make the whole room laugh on command.”
13. Yvonne H. writes:

“Never forget them insisting the map app was wrong, every single time.”
14. Darlene P. writes:

“Condolences, but also, does anyone know their Netflix password?”
15. Ollie A. writes:

“They said "see you at the next one." We're holding out hope they're right.”
16. Eugene J. writes:

“A legend. A menace. Occasionally both at once.”
17. Jack F. writes:

“This is why you always double check the group chat before making plans.”
18. Fern L. writes:

“RIP to the last one who could make the whole room laugh on command.”
19. Janice Z. writes:

“They peaked at the office holiday party of 2011. We all knew it.”
20. Walt G. writes:

“I inherited their unfinished crossword. Still stuck on 14 across.”
21. Yolanda J. writes:

“They said they'd call me back. Bold claim in retrospect.”
22. Blanche U. writes:

“They said "famous last words" right before saying famous last words.”
23. Elton D. writes:

“Thoughts and prayers, and also please return my lawnmower.”
24. Bonnie Z. writes:

“Every group chat needs a chaos gremlin. We just lost ours.”
25. Randy Y. writes:

“They'd want us to argue about this at the reception. Say less.”
26. Vito O. writes:

“They'd want us to argue about this at the reception. Say less.”
27. Lyle V. writes:

“Signing this guestbook under protest, they still owe me fifty bucks.”
28. Marge X. writes:

“They were the reason our group chat had a "no politics" rule.”
29. Nelda A. writes:

“They said they'd never retire. Well.”
30. Toby C. writes:

“I'll never forget them arguing with a self-checkout machine for ten minutes.”
31. Tony W. writes:

“They still have my charger. I want it back.”
32. Lois V. writes:

“They promised to fix my sink "next weekend" for three years running.”
33. Roger B. writes:

“Thoughts and prayers, and also please return my lawnmower.”
34. Harold Q. writes:

“Still can't believe they left before finishing the story. Typical.”

Gwendolyn Muddlecombe

Guestbook — Letters to the Departed

Sign the Guestbook